Chase and Eric

As I said in my last post I have had a lot of heart ache this year. Our family has lost two amazing sons, brothers, daddies and husbands. I inherited these two amazing men my senior year in high school when my mom married their dad. I was so excited to have three new brothers. I looked up to them and never thought of them as a "step". We quickly formed our family into one. 

 We first lost Chase on March 10th. I will never forget the awful call I received from my mom. I couldn't believe the words she was saying. It was the night before Grandma Jen's (kenny's grandma) funeral. It was such a hard day. Chase is and was an amazing dad. His wife just gave birth to their beautiful baby boy 3 weeks ago. He is so perfect!! Both Chase and Eric suffered from addition. Chase had been clean and graduated from drug court. He had amazing dreams and was an amazing person. I worry about telling people that it was an overdose for fear that they will judge the person he was but unfortunately drugs affect some of the best people in this world. It didn't make him a bad person. Sorry I always ramble about that. But truly Chase would have done anything for you. He was funny and always had a way of making you feel special. 

At Chase's funeral Eric spoke. He said how he always followed in Chase's footsteps. I thought please don't follow this. I think in the back of my head I knew it was possible but didn't want to think about it and Eric was doing so well. He had been clean the longest he ever had but at the first of June it all changed. He relapsed! I told him over and over that it doesn't matter that you relapsed just get better...you can do it. On July 8th around 8:00 I had this overwhelming feeling as I was putting groceries away that I needed to call him. I picked up my phone. I was so busy. The kids were tired, I needed to plan yw's for that week but that feeling was so strong. We talked for about 20 minutes at the end of the call I said I don't want to let you go. I'm afraid!! He said everything would be fine but in my gut I didn't feel it was. I told Kenny that night I thought something bad was going to happen but the next morning everything was fine. He was safe and nothing happened so I went on with the rest of my busy week. But Thursday the 11th I got the second worst call I have ever got. We had lost him. 4 months and a day. I couldn't believe the news. I was so heart broken. My heart hurt for my mom and step dad but also his kids who love him beyond words. I knew how bad my heart hurt and to think of how everyone else was hurting killed me. 

I know Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us. I believe both Chase and Eric are needed for something bigger then what they could accomplish on this earth but it still doesn't make my heart any better. I for sure have my better days which the last few days haven't been. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of them. I love you both always!! 

The last family picture with all of us. 

Me, Eric and Cory in Hawaii in 2004

Chase with his beautiful family. The picture with the football is him and Eric. They were so goofy!! :)

Eric with his beautiful kids. 

Where To Start

It's hard to know where to start when you have been gone from the blog world for so long. I guess the best place is what's going on in everyone's lives right now. This last year has brought many of changes for our family.

Kenny:

Kenny has had some big moves professionally this year. Last year in April he resigned from his job and started his own business. This has been a dream of his since I have known him. He consults for small businesses. To say this last year has been stressful is an understatement but I truly know it's the best move for our family in the long run. He also has been working on a iPad case with a friend from High School. It's pretty awesome. They will be launching on Kickstarter next month. I'm sure you all have seen me bombing your news feed with pictures and comments. Kenny is such a hard worker and we are so grateful for him. As for personal life for Kenny... he loves his kids more then anything. He still loves to play softball... this will never change. Pretty much this guy does so much for us and we love him to death. 

Paisyn:

It's crazy to see how this girl has changed over the last year. She is so beautiful inside and out. Her personality is so sweet but also a little firecracker at the same time. She loves her brother but really wants a baby sister as well. She started preschool and dance last year. She loves both! She has been missing them so much during the summer and can't wait to start up again. She has the biggest imagination ever. I love to listen to her play. This girl makes us the happiest parents ever.

Easton:

This boy is honestly the sweetest thing. He has always know how to get attention from anyone. He is a ham!! He's such a boy as well... he loves to play cars and ball. He can kick the ball so well. I'm really in awe every time I watch him. He also hit the ball the other day with the bat... daddy is proud. People always think he is older than he is because of his motor skills. He is still my baby and is such a momma's boy. We wouldn't know what to do without him.

 Me:

Just being a mom to the most amazing kids ever and loving the husband. I really feel so blessed and can't complain. I have of course had some hard times. Some which I'm still going through. In the last  4 months I have lost 3 people that I was really close to and loved very much. It has been hard but I keep thinking what am I suppose to learn from this. I know my Heavenly Father loves me and that he will show me the way out. I just continue to pray and ask for help to overcome the pain I have been feeling. I feel blessed that I have been able to serve in the Young Women's at our church. These cute girls teach me so much through their sweet testimonies. Truly I feel grateful for all I have even through my trials.

Getting Back In the Game

Well I'm hoping that I can start to blog more or period. We will see how it goes :) Really I want something my kids and I can look at one day. With that said... Be prepared for a overload of post.

Our little E man!!

*Just found this post in my box!! Guess I forgot to hit publish... yeah? Promise we love this boy to the moon and back!

I have been horrible about telling the birth story about Easton or even blogging period. It's just so much easier to fb or instagram. Really blogging is becoming a thing of the past. You know like MySpace but I think I'm going to try and stay old school so I can one day print it off. I'm not a scrapbooker so my kids won't have anything besides a computer full of pictures which that is another thing of the past. Now its more your phone. Wow... I really am rambling. I will get down to the real reason of this post.

First off he is amazing!! Of course I understand I'm his mom, but really he is such a happy soul. He fits right into our family. We couldn't feel more blessed to call him ours.

He was born March 8th at 7:30 am. I had been freaking out for 2 weeks prior. The first week I didn't want him to come because of Paisyn's birthday which was on the 2nd. I planned a big party for her that Sunday after all that craziness was over I started freaking out that he needed to come. Kenny had clients coming into town the following week and wouldn't be able to be at the hospital if I didn't go that week. I figured it would be easy after all I had been 100% effaced for a few weeks. I had a doctors appointment that Monday. I was hoping to be dilated to a 4 my doctor told me the week before if I came in and was a 4 he would walk me across the street and break my water. Of course I was only a 3, the same from the week before. How could this be? I had been a crazy momma planning Paisyn's party. Anyways, he said if you don't go by Friday I will start you. He had his nurse go call the hospital to get me on the books. He comes back with the worst news. I had to be put on a waiting list. They were already booked. I came home walked and was trying anything natural to start the labor. Nothing was working. Wednesday I called the hospital to see where I was on the list. I was lucky enough to be at the top but I didn't want to chance it. I sent a text to my lovely friend Courtney who does foot zoning to see if she would zone me Thursday if I didn't have  good news. Wednesday night I made dinner, danced with Paisyn and made up cheer words for my darling cousin who was trying out for cheerleader at her Jr. High (which she made it YAY!!) As I was in the middle of making them up I kept getting pains in my back. I timed them but the weren't consistent. So I just continued. After I finished I started to get nervous they weren't really painful but my doctor said he thought I would go really fast so I needed to get into the hospital right away when I felt like I was in labor. It was 11:00pm Kenny just came upstairs to get ready for bed. I told him I think I'm in labor. He asked should we go? I wasn't sure. I didn't feel any labor with Paisyn because I was started and got the epidural really early. I was talking to my sister in law Carly who is a nurse in L&D (poor thing got so many calls from me). I told Kenny go ahead and get ready for bed but as he was finishing up I said babe (nervous to tell him because 5 minutes ago I said I was fine) I think we need to go. We packed up the car, dropped P off with in laws and off to the hospital we went. All the labor was in my back. I kept thinking it really isn't that bad. They are going to send me home. I get there check in. I don't think the lady believed me that I was in labor. I really wasn't in much pain. I get up there, get dressed into my awesome gown. It's now 1:30. The nurse comes in sets me up to the monitors and checks me. I'm dilated to a 6... I was so happy. I thought awesome maybe 2 hours tops and I will have this little man here. She said let's get you a epidural right away. We call my mom, she gets there a little after 2. Nurse comes in checks me... Nothing. How could this be. I didn't want to go to sleep. I was to excited to sleep. I couldn't feel a thing or move. I had to keep asking am I still contracting?  I got a "Walt epidural" is what the nurse kept saying. I was so ready to meet this cute little boy. I finally closed my eyes at 4:00 am I still hadn't moved from a 6. My amazing doctor came in at 6:30 am  and broke my water said I'm going to do the rounds and be back for you to push. Nurses come in and start to set everything up. I'm so excited and nervous. I didn't know if I would be able to push. I couldn't feel anything (which most people wouldn't complain about) my doctor comes in a little after 7:00 am and I start to push. I think I was pushing :) but Easton was moving his head back with each push. I could hear with each time his heart rate get slower.They ended up having to use the vacuum and out he came. He was perfect. Our son was here and healthy.

Easton Don
7 lbs 13 oz and 21 in long.

Easton was born with his left foot turned out the wrong way. The on call pediatrician said oh wow I have never seen that. Awesome way to freak out some parents. I had an appointment with Easton's pediatrician in 2 weeks. He confirmed that it was positional but wanted it to be looked at to make sure all the bones had developed correctly.

About 4 weeks later we took him up to Primary Children's. We got some awesome looks from the doctor as she said it would turn on it own. Thinks she was thinking we were over protective. She was use to seeing patients that had Clubfoot and here we come with a cute perfect little boy that just had a positional problem. It had been in my ribs for the entire pregnancy (I could have told you that). All the bones had formed correctly. It now looks normal at 5 months. It was just a little scary for a dad who hopes his little boy will play ball  one day :)

Well this is the long story I keep playing through my head not wanting to forget a thing and I hope I never do but at least I will have it written down if I do :) 

Paisyn's 3rd Birthday!!

Wow... Do we really have a 3 year old? It's crazy to think in just a few short months she will be going to preschool. I really feel like it was just yesterday I was in the hospital giving birth to her. I still can't comprehend the fact that we are blessed to be her parents. She lights up our lives. She is so happy, energetic, loving and sassy. We love her imagination, it keeps growing more and more. We wouldn't know what to do without her sweet spirit.

I wanted her birthday to be a big deal this year. One because she loves birthdays (she makes me a cake daily and sings happy birthday) and second it was the last year that she would have her own family birthday party as Easton was due a few weeks after her birthday. I was so worried I would end up having him on her actual birthday, as I was put on bed rest again (not as long this time). But anyways needless to say she got her own day and mom was wiped out by the time it was over. I have to say thank you to Pinterest for the decor ideas. Paisyn told me she wanted a pink, blue and green party so that's what she got. I'm going to let the pictures do the talking well because I'm sure I will end up getting up in a few short hours with the little E Man... his post is to come next :)



Christmas Time

Well it's about time I get around to updating about Christmas. This year was so much fun. Paisyn was such a joy!! She was so excited for Santa to come and actually understood what was going on. I love watching through her little innocent eyes. She makes my heart smile!!

Anyways... here are a bunch of pictures. Well we would have a ton more but our camera had a little oops moment and deleted a bunch of pictures.

(yes, I did cry)

This really isn't from Christmas, but how cute is she?
(since it wasn't a white Christmas)

Making some cookies for Santa :)

Kenny said to her "what did Santa bring you?" she yelled "my doll house"
(so bummed I thought it was on video)

So excited!!

Daddy was spoiled from Santa as well :)

Paisyn was spoiled from her grandparents on both sides!!

See that excitement?

Thanks to Santa and all of our family for an amazing Christmas. I love spending the time with family and eating lots of food.

Goodbye 2011

Well as another year comes to an end it makes you reflect how the time went by so fast. I love looking at pictures to see how we have all grown and to see the joys we had together. Here’s a peek of how we made it through this year (as we all know I'm not good at updating this blasted thing so it's a little lengthy).

-disclaimer-- these are all from my phone I hope to get some pictures from our actual camera on here soon.

:we scooted the time away

:we danced

:we watched as time flew by us

:we dressed up

:we grew into a big girl bed

::this picture isn't her completed room I will have to get updated pictures.

:we bought a bigger car
:we got an awesome deal. So glad the hubby can work his magic.

:to accommodate this
::due March 16th

:we balanced life

:we became best friends

:we putted through our trials

:we swung through life

:we smiled

:we took care of one another

:we experienced new things

:we painted through our fears

:we scrambled for new adventures

:and found them

:we were silly

:we basked in the sun

:we grew together
::28 weeks

:we baked
::more like ate

:We put our feet up

:we laughed
::we found Paisyn like this one night...
diaper off and she had put her pants back on.
Only a couple of problems-inside out
and forgot that pants come with two holes.

:we were excited to find out it's a...

:we played our dreams out in real life

:We scared away our problems

:We learned new things

:We played our hearts out

:we welcomed the holidays with a new excitement
::Paisyn was so excited to have Santa come this year

:most importantly we grew together and loved
every minute of it.

I can’t express how grateful I am for my amazing husband and beautiful daughter. I can’t wait to see what this next year brings and to welcome a new life into this world.